Life in Christ is not merely a theology we study: it is a virtue we live. Therefore, in Acts 1:1 Luke says, “I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach”. Notice the order—Jesus did and taught. His life was the message. James also writes in James 1:22, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” None of us wants to deceive ourselves. God’s Word is not meant only for our ears but for our lives. Every word He speaks carries a practical purpose—to be lived, not just admired.
Forgiving is one of the greatest virtues of Christian life – without this Christ cannot be glorified in us or truly fellowshipped with. I heard someone say to one elderly lady – my daughter-in-law attends the same Church that you attend. Why is it so different – she never forgives and carries bitterness in her that I clearly see in her face and behaviors, but I see you differently? Elderly lady had no answer. Even the former lady, who is not a believer, expects a Christian practice forgiveness and love. Why a Christian is far away from it?
In our everyday conversations—especially casual ones—it has become normal to speak poorly of others. Sadly, this habit has found its way even into Christian circles. Many do not realize the spiritual damage this causes. Jesus gave us a clear picture of how to deal with sin between believers in Matthew 18:15–20.
At the root of all such conflict is unforgiveness.
Forgiving others is always connected to sin – regardless bigger or smaller, it could be against men or God. That matters equally to God. Today, we focus on sins committed against one another.
First step – one-to-one conversation
Verse 15, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”. It says telling about your brother’s fault, and forgiveness should be between you and your brother. It’s the greatest virtue for dealing with this kind. Except for communicating with God, one-to-one conversation could not be replaced by other conversations. But, before you do this – pray to God for his grace, ask for wisdom, love and patience to rebuke your brother – to show his sin, first and foremost – forgive him. The Holy Spirit is your great helper.
Second step – chose to bring one or two more
Verse 16, “But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established”. It comes only if the first step fails. Here again you need the power of the Holy Spirit to bring those people who could be convenient to your sinner brother. Immature and carnal believers won’t be a help here. After all, it’s a matter of saving your brother – and bringing him back to Christ Lord.
Third step – church as a final authority
Verse 17 says, “And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” The Church is the final authority to rebuke a sinner brother. Jesus clearly says, even after that if the sinner brother will not repent, he could no longer be part of the Church. That is why Paul said in 1 Corinthians 5:5, “deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord Jesus.”
Let us ask ourselves. Do our churches practice this? Are believers taught these truths? Sadly, this teaching is often neglected.
What happens when these steps are not followed in the right order? It spreads negative energy, creating a foothold for Satan. When you speak about the sins of someone to others, it becomes a seed of bitterness to his heart. Over time, small misunderstandings grow into mountains of judgment
True forgiveness means that once you forgive, you do not keep retelling the story. If you still speak about it—or enjoy listening to others speak about it—you may not have truly forgiven yet.
Jesus never spoke about people’s sins to others. Even when He was persecuted, mocked, and falsely accused, He did not seek revenge. Nothing was personal to Him—and this is what we are called to follow. He talked about leaven of Pharisees and Herod (Mark 8:15), but that was particularly not a sin against men but towards God.
The Greek word for forgiveness is “Aphiemi” – which means ‘let go’. Not to keep holding it. The faster you let go, the sooner God’s peace will fill your heart.
Jeremiah 31:34 They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”
If you read this verse in reverse order (last to first) – you will see a profound truth. It’s the forgiveness that God practices – leads from least to greater of us to the knowledge of God. Then this will be the truth nobody again has to teach – to his neighbor and to his brother – saying, “Know the Lord”. Now, think about a believer, forgiving others in all circumstances – when non-believers see this – they will know it’s of God – and it automatically teaches them about God. Now, think about the whole church practicing this in the communities – it definitely becomes the channel to bring the world to Christ. Then the word of God becomes reality – “….the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved”(Acts 2:47). A church that walks in forgiveness does not need to beg people to come. God Himself draws them—because He is seen, felt, and experienced in that community.
Beloved, let this truth take root in your heart. Let forgiveness shape your life. Let Christ be glorified through you. And may the Lord increase His church—not for numbers, but for His glory.
Amen!